Friday, 4 June 2010

Dad, can I have a monster?

As it has been lovely weather, I decided to take a day off work and we headed off down to the coast. Armed with plenty of sun block and sarnies we arrived at the lovely sandy beach at Bournemouth.

I was ready for a rest...three hours of being stuck in the car with four squabbling kids really takes it out of you! We tried playing I-Spy but my youngest decided to play the Tourettes version and "something beginning with T" had the guesses of "titties, transexual and twat" so instead we played "RIGHT THAT'S IT! NEXT ONE WHO SPEAKS CAN GET OUT AND WALK!!!" which lasted for at least five minutes...aah the peace!

Anyway, we made it onto the beach and I was shattered. Out came the soggy sarnies (complete with the odd bit of sand) and we happily munched away. Afterwards, I started to feel a little bit sleepy so my wife decided to take the three older kids for a paddle whilst the youngest (Tourettes child) built sandcastles next to me snoozing.
In my state of slumber, my daughter stood over me all excited and asked sweetly "Dad, can I have a monster?"

Half asleep I murmured "Cause you can darling" and dozed off again. I started to dream...and in my dream I could hear a lady screaming – It was very realistic.

"I think that's your daughter" a man said poking me on the arm. What I opened my eyes to was my youngest, complete with the rotting remains of a huge fish chasing some lady around the beach screaming. I promptly retrieved the monster...and the rotten fish after having some choice words thrown at me from one angry lady. (I think she may have had Tourettes too)

Yet another eventful outing!


  1. There's nothing as entertaining or more likely to keep you on your toes than kids! I just choked on my wine laughing about that!
    Sal. X

  2. Hee, hee. Very, very funny :)


  3. Very funny- and I can't help laughing when you said your wife' decided 'to take three of the children off your hands while you had a nice zzzzzz...........hmmmmmmmm- I wonder if she'd say that was exactly her choice?!!

  4. I love your kid's sense of humour! I laugh but really I am scared it's just the sort of thing Bog Boy my youngest would do and we are off to the Beach for a holiday in a few weeks time...oh joy!

  5. Oh the joy! I do love Bournemouth but your post takes me back to when my children were small and immediately regretting impulsive decisions to to go just because the sun was shining ....

  6. I can so relate to that 'not so peaceful visit to the beach! Very funny..'